Something Must Be 
WRong 
? 
e 
A case for social responsibility in Nigerian 
Ikechukwu Ani 

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Copyright 

Rev. Fr. Dr. Ikechukwu Ani 
Research Department 
Catholic Secretariat II 
3 Ikwuato Street Uwani Enugu 

First published: Enugu 1996 
Second updated Edition: Enugu 2009 
All rights reserved 
Ap rt fr many f ir d aling for the purpose of private 
study, r arch, riticism or review, no part of this 
publication may be reproduced without the prior 
permission, in writing, of the publisher. 
ISBN 978-2919-42-X. 

Dedication 

n by Chileoz 3 Ukpor Close New Haven Enugu 
Printed by 
Iyke Ventures Print 
57 Obiagu Road Enugu. 08037083439 
ii 

This piece of work is dedicated to the next 
Civilian Government 
which will perform on the Nigerian Scene 
iii 

Contents 
	Preface 	vii 
	1.	A Foreword 	9 
	2.	The Logic of self-destruction 	15 
	3 	The manslaughter of Education 	21 
	4.	Destined for Kirikiri! 	35 
5.	The Tragedy of a self-made Chief or 
	"Chief-Omego-Syndrome" 	43 
	6.	A fool at Lagos is doomed forever! 	53 
7.	The "Patriots" of doom! or 
	"Ndi-nuie-obodo Mania" 	69 
8.	The "Holy" Thieves and 
	The "god" of Bandits 	81 
	9.	The Banks of Bankruptcy! 	93 
	10. 	Something must be wrong! 	103 
	11. 	Nigerians Repent! 	109 
v 

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"Our sages were right when they said 
that 
no matter how many spirits plotted 
a man's death 
it would come to nothing unless his 
personal god 
took a hand in the deliberation~" 
(Chinua Achebe: Arrow of God) , 
Mention any treachery planned by any 
other persons 
against the Nigerian peoples, 
and which was successfully carried out 
without the decisive involvement of 
Nigerians! 
vi 

Preface 
An insightful, thought provoking work about the 
nfused situation of things in the country. A 
t te where corruption and bribery have eaten so 
ep into the blood system of the natio~ that the 
uthor is frequently exclaiming "something must 
b wrong!" 
"Something must be wrong" is also the title 
f the work, and when something is wrong, then 
solution is sought to put things right. 
nfortunately, this is not the case in Nigeria. We 
em to have landed ourselves in a state where 
the rats found themselves as they searched for a 
way of controlling one of their greatest enemies - 
the cat. One solution was agreed by all the rats 
nd that is, to bell the cat. But one rat asked, who 
will bell the tat? At this point, all the rats took to 
their holes for none was ready to volunteer to bell 
the cat. Cats remain the greate~t enemy of rats till 
ate. Have we landed ourselves in the same 
ituation the rats found themselves? 
vii 

Titles like "The Logic of Self-destruction", 
"The manslaughter of Education", "Chief-Omego- 
Syndrome", "The Patriots of Doom", "The Holy 
Thieves and the God of Bandits", "The Banks of 
Bankruptcy", reflect the situation we described 
above. 
The last two chapters, however, insist that 
Nigerians as whole' should join hands to fight 
undignified, dishonourable and disrespectful life 
style. This is simply put by the author in this way, 
"Nigerians repent"!" 
This work is an eye-opener and is written 
for all. It is simply presented in a way that even 
elementary five pupils can understand. Other 
attractive aspect of the work is that the author 
makes use of stories and films we all know. He is, 
simply put, an honest writer who does not take 
hi r aders for granted; he tells us the source of 
hi in piration. 
Read and find out for yourself. 
Anthony C. Okeke 
Enugu, December 1996 
viii 

1 
A Foreword 
nee upon a time, a man had a very serious 
uarrel with his wife. The man felt so bad that 
h was, for the first time, tempted to strangle 
hi wife. The only way he could control his 
mper was that he ran to the nearby police 
t tion, and still fuming with anger he 
r ported: "Officer, I had a very serious quarrel 
with my wife, such that: .. ". He could not 
mplete the statement (possibly with: "such 
that I nearly killed her"), and the police officer 
n duty dismissed the matter with the remark: 
"That is not a case! Having a quarrel with your 
wife, that is not a case!" The officer repeated 
his statement in such a cynical manner that 
th 
9 

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10 

	n n was dumbfounded and all LI 	r I 
	ked. All the same, he was able t 1 v LI 	' 
station "in peace", but not for long: 
He went home and cleverly used different 
m l rials to reproduce what looked like the head 
his wife, showing seemingly traces of blood 
.1 r und the neck. The day after, the man went 
h', k to the same police station, this time with the 
h \ d of his wife on a tray. He was all the more 
r li ved by the fact that it was the same police 
ifficer who was at the duty post again to attend to 
him. Without even a word of greeting,' the man 
sh wed the police officer the head of his wife, 
I urposely from a distance, and said: "I have just 
headed my wife, is this a case?" As the police 
sfficer was beckoning to his colleagues in the 
n arby office to come quickly and arrest the 
murderer, the man dropped the head on the floor 
nd disappeared. The police men rushed to the 
s ne only to discover that the head was a fake .:. 
Some writers and preachers complain today 
b ut . the situation fondly. described as "the 
r blem with .Nigeria''. However, the trend of 
v nts in our dear country makes it necessary to 
k the question: which Nigerian, is actually 
nvinced that the Nigerian Nation and peoples 
h ve a case or any problem at all, indeed that we 
r in a very hot soup? Many critical Nigerians 
11 

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are condemning corruption in the country. 
Nevertheless, every day it becomes all the more 
difficult to exactly locate and identify Nigerians 
who are "in-deed" seriously fighting corruption in 
the country? 

This confused situation of things in the country is 
the subject matter of this piece of work. 

Discussions with friends and colleagues 
immensely contributed to the success of this book. 
Begin any conversation today with a Nigerian; it 
will not last long before you discover that you are 
already handling the topic: "the problem with 
Nigeria". Unfortunately many of such 
conversations end up with the remark, what the 
need is talking about all this; since all said and 
done the situation does not change". So it happens 
th many useful ideas are quickly dismissed 
)' in with v ice of "deadly" resignation. This 
f w rk wants to challenge such an attitude. 

Some Video-Films produced recently in the 
country form the point of departure for some of 
the analysis and reflections in this piece of work. 
We refer especially to the films "Living in 
Bondage", written by Kenneth Nnebue (NEK. 
Video Links Ltd., Lagos, 1992); and "Circle of 
Doom ", written by Okechukwu ·Ogunjiofor 
(VIDEOSONIC Productions Ltd., Lagos/Onitsha 1993). 

12 

	I h ' 	kJ t written by Adeniyi Gboteku, 
II" t he tit] : "Jokes For all Occasions", (Lagos 
'111\ , h 'I d to add some seasoning spices to the 
I' 'Ilt tj n as well as supply very enriching 
I I or th ught. 

'11 ources of inspiration named above are 
,I n t to be found in the famous libraries or in 
tit· nt rnet programmes of the world, neither do 
t 1 long to the points of reference for the 
"t rnational political discussions on the Nigerian 
f r di ament. This is not at all surprising because 
up discussions and the contribution of the 
uth rs of the works mentioned belong to the "cry 
I th unfamiliar voices", and political discussions 
I not take cognisance of such voices. Indeed, 
'V n the humanitarian giants who seem to be 
oncerned about the world order usually hear 
)f ly the "familiar voices" of great catastrophes, 
with the result that they gather only to discuss 
what to do with the heads already cut off and 
h w to bury the dead. However, history provides 

nough evidence to prove that responding to the 
ry of the "unfamiliar voices" could often have 
en 'a stitch in time' that 'saves nine'. 

Even though the movies named above 
long more or less to the cry of the unfamiliar 
voices, they nevertheless present some pieces of 
information which provoke thought in the minds 
f critical and concerned citizens of Nigeria today. 
13 

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No doubt, Nigeria has so many citizens, but one is 
tempted to believe that many Nigerians no longer 
consider it worthwhile to show concern about the 
betterment of life in the country. 

We thank the above mentioned Nigerians 
for their creative and noble contributions. If the 
"problem with Nigeria" would cease to be apart of 
our daily discussion, or cease to be the subject 
matter of films and other artistic productions, or 
even get integrated in jokes and riddles, imagine 
what would become of our dear and blessed 
country? The stories we are telling here are 
familiar to you, but perhaps still unfamiliar! 

14 

	• 	~.f!IC l 
			- 	------= 

2 

he Logic of self-destruction 

1\ ne who has ever attended a "SchoO(df Theft" 
() tid most likely havelearnt how to escape if . 

t h • urse of prac~ising stealing, alarm is raised.l~ 
I hooled thief did not learn how to hid~1i:' f 
	d 	hi 	e.rus ace 
." ecure IS head when the owner of hls target 
	x ,IS aroused to anger, the trained thief 		ld 
	-rt nl f d i diffi 	wou 
1 y In It 1 icult to practise his profession 
.)r long perio~ of time, Invariably it belongs to 
It 	". O~, st~ahng that the thief shouldvnot be 
iu ht In active service", 
.. 
...•. - .. ; 

~, 
I 
15 

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h . 

In other words, the only way for somebody to 
remain a thief is to make sure that he does not 
become a thief. And as long as he is not identified 
as one, he will not be called a thief, even though 
he steals. Should he be caught stealing, then he 
ceases to practise theft because the hand of justice 
will remove his certificate from him and make it 
impossible for him to practise thieving any more. 
This is of course the case in a country like Nigeria 
where stealing in both private and public sectors 
is supposed to be punishable, even by law. 
If a professional thief continues to steal 
without being caught, then it would reach a stage 
whereby he begins to steal from his own pocket. 
This sounds strange, but I will try to explain. 
Since stealing has practically become an 
integral part of the his existence, the professional 
thief would continue stealing from his neighbour 
until the latter has nothing more worth the 
sleepless night used for stealing. Therefore, when 
the neighbour of the thief has nothing mote to be 
stolen, or succeeds in fortifying his house in a 
way that makes it impossible for thieves to break 
in, the habitual thief will have no other 
alternative than to steal from his own pocket, 
because he must continue stealing. And at a stage, 
his own pocket will as well be emptied, so that he 
himself would no longer have anything in his 
possession to steal. Do you know why? The fate 
16 

I If "I I 'I 1 I mak s it in urn b n t LI t u I h II' I 
\ 1111111 I't siJy lose his whol I if '(ul 
I'll 1'1. i( II). ry and consider it this way: 
WI1.1l'v r is stolen, must be hidd J 
CIIlII'wIH'I' . That means, stolen goods shoul 
III' '1'1 I ' I r sented or made use of in a mann r 
11,011 Ill' ~ ublic, and possibly the owner, could 
,cI.·111 j, i l as a stolen good. Moreover, all 
III IV. ". L~ IJy stolen goods must be kept in a place 
\ 111'1 (' I l I' no longer possible for any thief to steal 
11"'111. In ther words, 'to be kept safe means that 
III · ." r I n goods are not within the reach of any 
III fl". fh refore, as soon as the thief succeeds in 
('llli 1 in both the pocket of his neighbour as well 
.1 j 11 is wn, all the goods will then be in a safe 
I 1.1 I where they could never be stolen again. In 
I it, f this, the thief will still have no peace of 
111111 I ince he must yet practise theft. What 
hdpp nsthen? 
Lastly, there is every likelihood that the 
'h j -f would try all means possible to see that he 
tonl again all those things he had already stolen 
1111 I hidden somewhere. At this stage, his success 
d I mds on where he hid the stolen goods. It 
mi zht become more difficult for him to reach at 
1 h ' ds, because those who guard stolen goods 
,I,. U ually extraordinarily strong. They prefer to 
17 

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18 
dil' 111.111 nil w any thief br k int th 
	'111111.1' l I their custody. Even in th f 	lhis 
Itillfl"I, 1 h rofessional thief would still hav th 
II I I' i. II hi, urge to steal. At this juncture the only 
.111"111.11; for him will be to undertake very 
I IIlf,"1 ous means to reach at the goods. Should 
III I Iltl If r lly not give up, he will likely be killed 
It, 1110,' who take care of stolen goods and that 
j IIIH' til nd of him. 
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'I'h i is why people of honour and integrity 
111·111' ( that stealing cannot be a lucrative job 
III' j IIIH very successful stealing brings one 
ni-nrur lone's self-destruction. The point is that, 
\ 1H'1l th thief spends his· whole life stealing, he 
11II Ii uddenly and no one would know where 
III ~' d are hidden. The death of thieves is of 
I 11111'. ' bound to be tragic. At this juncture, active 
lilt '01 ) ians and pious people would break their 
111',1 I. rguing whether the consistent thief could 

iately land in the excruciating fire of hell or 
, sooner or later, find his way into the 
ful abode of heaven. Some will be sure that 

rogue will be punished immediately, 
Ill" r would say, we leave it for the all merciful 
,) I l judge. Hardly would anyone wish to be 
I . () i ted with such a pest who spent his time 
III I n rgy making life unbearable for others. 
,,.1 inly not in this world; remember, not even 
III; 	themselves want to be associated with 
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19 

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thieves. Have you ever heard somebody say that 
he is proud to be a thief? 
Before we conclude this, it is worthwhile to 
take note of the following: One thing is still 
remarkable about a professional thief who steals 
and hides. Hiding while stealing is a sign that the 
thief is aware of the fact that what he is doing is 
wrong. It is catastrophic to steal what does not 
belong to you and at the same time doing as if to 
say it were the greatest service done to humanity. 
All said and done, the thief on the Nigerian 
scene seems to be of a peculiar nature and 
character. Having already emptied the safe of 
others as well as his own, he is even capable of 
borrowing in order to continue his business. And 
when the majority of the citizenry loses the 
courage to firmly maintain that stealing is wrong, 
then it means that all have at worst surrendered 
their fate to the structure of self-destruction. Do 
you also not think that something must really be 
wrong with somebody who consistently devotes 
time to work for his or her self-destruction?! 
20 

3 
manslaughter of Education 
'I" wise people say, if you want to destroy a 
"1I m n being, make it impossible for him or her to 
I In omething useful, and prevent him or her 
iron being aware of what is happening. If you 
.tn t to colonize a person, this is another 
I I r ion for dehumanisation or destroying a 
1111111 n being, make it possible for him to learn 
tly and only what you want him or her to 
Il w. Any nation which wants to destroy itself 
I with the destruction of every 
ill I' tructure necessary for the education of the 
Hiz n . 
21 

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A friend narrated the following incident to 
me: 
The JAMBI examinations had just come and gone. 
These examinations normally created high tension 
in the blood system of those who have to sit for 
them. Nwokolo had to face the agony of sitting 
for this examination just because his father 
wanted him to do so. The whole issue was a sheer 
torture for Nwokolo. Unfortunately for him, the 
matter had not yet ended because the result was 
still being awaited. 
In the: area. df academics,' Nwokolo had never 
been all that ambitious. This was why he could 
quite well come to terms with his feelings about 
the whole issue. Contrary to most of his 
colleagues, he had no reason whatsoever to 
nurture the hope that his result could be close to 
anything called good. Frankly speaking, he was 
not even longing to gain admission into any 
University, Considering his performance in 
school. all these years, he had come to be 
convinced that he would never be the academic 
type. He still remembered his "deadly kind" 
teacher in the elementary school who helped him 
scale through the First School Living Certificate 
examinations. It is better not to mention how h~ 
got _ through the Common Entrance 
1 Joint Admission and Matriculation Board. 
22 

	uninnf n. . At the end of his 	nd ry h (I 
1,11""1, I was not as "lucky" as he wa in th 
	1'11111,1" 	• hool. The reason was that most of th 
1100,IH'I.' who assessed the performance of the 
dlllii lnt that year had no understanding for 
II 1I1I 'I' t d students, whether they came from 
I I I I II ilies or not. In any case, Nwokolo is 
1"1', t 'I III Y in possession of a forged W ASC (West 
III .in School Certificate) result. This time 
11 11111 I h never sat down to study and prepare 
1111 III \ JAMB examination. Actually he is not 
II' 11'1 ltd in hard and challenging academic 
1'"1 ruit, 
ne thing still perturbed Nwokolo: His 
I" III -r who could not even pass the standard six 
• ,'II inations wanted a son who is a university 
gl.1 lu te, by all means. The JAMB result would, 
N w k 10 hoped, make it clear to his father that 
II It' S n had never been the type of person for a 
I j~'or us programme of education. He thought he 
htl I ther talents which would also be useful to 
"1111 nd to the society, but his previous attempts 
10 I ring his father to reason had been futile. At 
II I ' me time, he did not want to drastically 
11I1.'lr te the high expectations the father had put 
HI him, albeit in the wrong direction. Meanwhile 
" 'w impatiently waiting for the JAMB results 
1< I I Y the decisive umpire. A failure in JAMB, he 
• j I, tly anticipated, would now. remedy the 
23 

-- -_- 
~, •.. _-'k. 

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whole situation and save him from an unduly 
early heart attack. 
As soon as the results of JAMB were 
published, Nwokolo rushed to the notice board to 
see whether his name had appeared on the list. 
He was then happy to discover that no miracle 
had taken place. "Mysterious" miracles happened 
sometimes after examinations in Nigeria, to the 
effect that those who never entered the 
examination hall at the end receive the best 
results. Nwokolo rejoiced that he was not a victim 
of any of these mysterious hands. He was very 
ready to reap the fruits of his little or not effort: 
His score was much below the minimum points 
required for a pass. For him, things had worked 
out well, as he wished. Pretending to cry out his 
eyes, Nwokolo then returned home and reported 
the failure to his father, Akajiaku. The son tried 
once again to convince his father that he would 
find something else reasonable to do in life. 
The tears of Nwokolo were all in vain. The 
financially well-to-do father immediately knew 
another solution to the matter. "We are in 
Nigeria!", he retorted to his son, "once you have 
the cash, you can gain an entrance into any place 
you want, even into the bedroom of the 
President'" . 
24 

'I'll, th r th n directed his son Nwok 1 t 
','I lI'dd I I r in the evening. They had to foll w 
IIj,IIIII matt rimmediately. 
I I w s 7.30 p.m. Kelechi, the Registrar of a 
I '1111\ 11' I Nigerian University was relaxing in his 
11111 'g I'( m when he heard a car drive into his 
1111111 OUI 	. A gorgeously dressed middle aged 
III III nn I hi son wanted to see him, the gate man 
I 'I II 1I'lt I. Kelechi was actually not expecting any 
I rlor, ut he imagined that the visitors in 
I'll', t iOI must be responsible people since they 
I 11111' h car. And although the names mentioned 
I'll' not at all familiar to him, he directed the 
""II' man to allow the visitors in. 
What an amazing sight! The Registrar made 
"'1 '(fort not to be distracted by the quantity of 
II1II th visitor was carrying on his body, 
I' I •• ihly in the name of fashion. What gave him 
II" mo t perturbing concern was that the man 
III',' rl had an accident while climbing the three 
II'p. I ding into the sitting room. Kelechi was 
liltil" I pleased that nothing harmful had 
It •• PI' n d. Eventually the man and his son had a 
II I rrival into the sitting room and the Registrar 
I. I W all ears. 
Mr. Akajiaku had first of all a lot of stories 
t ) h-ll: bout himself, his house, his compound, 
" ) It hi beautiful and expensive gate like that of 
25 

	- 	--~ 	-- 
- .~ 
'" 

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II 
I' 

26 

1111 l'I'gl, 11'11', bouthisbusinessandfarr hi: 
III" H 'I I ion,', b ut his recent trip to Abuja and 
III III Ill" -r i sues. Kelechi, who was actually 
III 'II II HI1 W rk, left the man talking for a long 
IIIIH' ill,! ati ntly waiting to get the message the 
was trying to put across. 
	1 	I t Mr. Akajiaku caine to the point: 
'I I' I III on here, he is a very good and 
I I 'I"win)' fellow. I am very proud of him! He will 
	, I 11111' I 	well in your University; I imagine 
[1lt'11', h uld be no problem with his admission!" 
this time, the voice of the rich man had 
I II.II'~" . Traces of uncertainty and sadness were 
IIIII t I ',I I in the tone of his voice. He had no 
I III II d~' I again to look "in the direction of the 
1 f I f,1. 1 r r. The patient Kelechi now wondered 
	, I, ,I 	uld be the reason for such a sudden 
I "oIll~1 \ nd the abrupt end of the long story. Till 
II I h did not quite understand the reason for 
1111' isit. He had no problem with the fact that a 
1111 II i. i ng young man would do well in the 
I J"j 'I', ity. Why must he be informed about the 
I 1I1IlliHing boy late in the evening and in his 
" II. 
In rder to wriggle out of the embarrassing 
II 'I \ I the courteous Registrar congratulated the 
"I I n i sing" Nwokolo and enquired, out of sheer 
whether all the requirements for 
n in the University had got to the future 
27 

graduate. One of the requirements was of course 
the JAMB result. Nwokolo, following the prior 
instruction of his father, nervously presented the 
JAMB result slip and the Registrar examined it 
casually. "But Mr. Akajiaku, the scored points are 
not enough for admission into the University!" 
exclaimed the Registrar, supposing he was telling 
his visitors something they did not know. 

The response of the rich man came 
promptly: "That is precisely why I am here. If my 
son had scored the required points; what could 
have brought me to your house? But because he 
did not score the adequate points, I am here so 
that we see what could be done to get him into 
the University! I do not think it will cost me 
much. The money is there!" he conclusively 
emphasized ..... 

Before I bore you to death with a long story, 
let me stop here to let you imagine the outcome of 
the visit.' 
The money is there!, they shout, as if to say 
they had ever seen a lump of money sitting down 
in lecture halls, listening to lectures, taking down 
notes and sitting for examinations. 

Is this not just a fairy tale? You might 
wonder, or perhaps it is an exaggerated 
presentation of facts! Do not be surprised to 
imagine that possibly something of this nature 
28 

"' gill h ' taking place somewhere in ur c un .y 
	, t" , ill) 	u are reading this story? 

1111 111,'1 II i ! Human beings go to school in 
I I I I I rn. Certificates are later issued to 
, t h I fforts of the student and document his 
I I I II I i records. By the time somebody 
I I III It( H from a University, it is expected that he 
III' III • t have learnt something that can be 
II I," t< thers, especially in his or her field of 
I II i. li n. 
'l'h institution called School in the widest 
lIt' ) th word has a systematic way of making 
). i J for people to learn one thing or the 
I. sually examinations are conducted to test 
" ility of students, and it forces students to 
• ur they know what they are being taught. 

/\ t the primary school level, it is generally 
t", , t m that anybody who fails the promotion 
III lin tion has to repeat the class. In the higher 

I I tuti ns, students are given the chance to 
I " 'It xaminations for the subjects they did not 
" , nt the first attempt. Both in the primary and 
II I hi h r level of education, there is a method of 
~'" 	person the 'second or even third 
" irtunity to learn the stuff expecte~ from 
dy who had passed through a' certain 
f education. It happens sometimes that 
( III dy who feels he cannot cope with the 
I 'Ill H) of a systematic education decides to 
29 
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leave the school and go to learn one trade or the 
other which he thinks could help him develop his 
talents. As such, a person who cannot pursue a 
rigorous academic program programme could as 
well be successful in other fields of work, with the 
result that he feels satisfied doing his work, and 
maintains his dignity as a responsible person~ If 
you experience such specialists in their field, you 
will go home edified by the joyful manner in 
which people that got well grounded and solid 
training discharge their duties. 

Surely parents are expected to give their 
children the maximum support they need in order 
to reap the fruits of the school system. This is 
particularly necessary in a country where the 
government has .little or no provision to ensure 
that the citizens receive even basic education. 

There were parents, for instance, who made 
it dear to their children that, if after the promotion 
examination, one is not classified among the first 
ten in a class of 50, the person should repeat the 
class. The reason for this is that the parents in 
question believed that their children were capable 
of. making very good results in the school, 
depending on whether they work hard or not, 
They strongly maintained that, should any of the 
children lag behind in academics, it was a sign 
that the child concerned was no longer l!P and 
doing in his or her responsibility as a student. The 
30 
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r 'HS Ll r \, L1l 
case of Mr. Akajiaku as 
the father insistently 
J i son should become a 
I II >',Idd I'll, ne would expect that the 
I I II"lild .11 .. h ve insisted that his soh really 
II II II 'I"dlitnliv ducation. This would mean, 
I I I 1111 ", I h ) l th son should have repeated the 
11\ , " I Ii I Hll i n in order to really q~lify for 
ji ku did not think in this light. It 
	li 	not really know what the 
i. 11 about. His demand from the 
.I, indeed a war against education, an 
III whole system of edtfc;&tion, a 
nu mpt to pull down academic 
I 11,111" ill II country. 

II w ould a human being degenerateto the 
I ,II dt ri d in the above story?~.;9.id Mr. 
I 1 I,'~ II 11 )l know the later consequencesof such 
I i he, for instance, not realis~.' to what 
trying to frustrate the young man 
III I I ( 'i ly plunge him into a system of 
"11111111 HI,' risis. How can somebodyspend his 
II \ r y and money for the ptti'pose of 
rthless piece of paper in the name 
31 
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of certificate for something he never learnt and 
just in order to occupy a post which he cannot 
manage? 
Is Mr. Akajiaku the only "fool" in Nig~ria or 
are there other persons who have such frame of 
~ind? The incompetence noticeable in many 
fields of work in the country tends to speak for 
the fact that there are many who think the same 
way. No sense of discipline, no joy or longing to 
execute a job well, no personal pride for 
e~c.ellence in the execution of one's duty, no 
vI~Ion, no determination! Go to some offices, you 
will wonder why the officer on seat is occupying 
the p.ost. Any other reason could be imagined, but 
certainly not because the man in charge is in any 
way qualified for the post. 
.The mans~aughter of Education in Nigeria! 
Is this an affair which has to do with a few 
individuals? Are the university authorities aware 
of their responsibility towards individual 
stude_nts .and the nation at .large? What type of 
contribution does a worker in a university system 
make to the training of young people, when the 
latter are subjected to pay exorbitant amount of 
money as bribery before they are adequately 
registered for a course they are duly offered 
admission for? 
. ~fanslaughter of Education in today's 
Nigeria! What does a student learn from a lecturer 
32 

III' m kes the grade of pass dependent on II 
unrnmt of money paid to him privately by hi 
11111 -nt? In this case, of course, the student 
1111 I rs whether it is at all necessary to attend 
IIII' \ since success, is no longer dependent on 
I, 'I h r you really know the stuff or not, but on 
II I • I uoi e the lecturer fixes for a pass in the course. 
II I P rhaps better not to dwell on the case of our 
11111 nfolk who can quickly settle the lecturer by 
I I,I 'ill) not in cash but in kind. Sometime they are 
I I'll made to pay both in cash and in kind. What 
	I 	11,111 ! What, if at all, is the academic quality of 
I I,' t urer who gets himself involved in such a 
oes he really not know what education 
IIII'IIIlS for the development of any human 
III Id ? Does he not realise the amount of harm 
III' i.' inflicting on the young people, who are 
I 1111111 Y entrusted to his care? 
The manslaughter of Education! But we still 
11.1 I' I arned ladies and gentlemen who are in 
II" q' \ f our universities. Do they not know what 
I 	11,'1 pening? Have our State and Federal 
1111i. Iri s of Education no means of preventing 
II II n atastrophic degeneration, or have they 
	1111 	come part of this system of self- 
	It 	11'11 ti n? 
, mething must be wrong with a system of 
I III nti n which has suspended enlightenment 
IIld II ( ining, with an institution of learning which 
33 

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·	upholds an atmosphere of the type of corruption 
better described as self-destruction. Are those in 
charge so handicapped that they cannot make any 
reasonable contribution to the promotion of 
education any longer? If so; why on earth are they 
still occupying that post, what are they doing in 
the interest of their fellow country women and 
men? Something must be wrong! 

34 

4 

estined for Kirikiri- 

II III' III the helm of affairs and work for the 

I 11.1 I t I, j Y and happiness of millions of human 
II. III)' ,what could be of greater honour than that! 
'\111 11,1 IV rybody has this charism. That is why it 
I 11111 Ill. Ily difficult for people to choose a ruler. 
	II I I h 	who really feel they are gifted with 
	·	I II j I 	qualities required to rule a people 
If li ly, usually make great effort to .win the 
I nee of the people they want to rule. 

35 

When sincere and honest citizens have ruled a 
people and stepped down for others, they are 
normally held in honour as Statesmen or -women 
who posterity makes reference to. Generally 
speaking, rulers of the past are usually made 
reference to in one way or the other. Some are 
remembered for their nobility, others are 
mentioned just to demonstrate what a leader 
should never be associated with. 
There is yet another incident I want to 
narrate to you: 

It was a very hot afternoon. The traffic hold- 
up had made it impossible for us to continue our 
sightseeing trip in that thickly populated Nigerian 
city called Lagos. Along a road constructed 
seemingly for two lanes of vehicles, six lanes were 
now formed out of it. One has to say "seemingly" 
because there was no traffic sign or no road 
markings to indicate the size of the road and how 
vehicles are supposed to ply on them. As such, 
the formation of six lanes did not seem to violate 
any traffic order, and there was no uniformed 
traffic warden around to prove the contrary. 
. 	One could notice that the motorists had now 
decided to make an effective occupation of every 
space on the road. Everybody wanted to move 
fast, but then, the traffic was then moving at a 
snail's pace. Obviously no car wanted to "kiss" the 
36 

,II, I, . II h n accident would have meant t t J 
I,d, 1111 nil vehicles. Invariably there was no 
,,"I .' ,hi I provision for even a tow-van to reach 
	I III 	.hicle that might happen to get stuck 
1111 'f. I h,' u ue. 
I w ndered why many of the vehicles were 
1111 I t'l mitted to ply the roads. Many of them 
I II' II ill completely worn-out tyres. Do notask 

h,,' the condition of their break pads was, 
" I I I III I lion that the fuel or engine oil could be 
1111 Iii d '1ny time because the owner or the driver 
,I 1111' II r rarely checks the technical condition of 
II I II until it completely refuses to obey the kick. 
car seems to be a waste of money for 
( n r owners. At the end, the whole issue 
111111 HI t to be a matter of 'penny wise, pound 
I 11111 h', cause the car would sooner or later be 
I II1'1 t,d mewhere till further notice. 
But, trust the Lagos taxi drivers, they could 
I I anoeuvre their way through any length 
,tI ~'II ~ low along the road. So, the movement of 
	I I" I" 	ntinued, even though a snail would 
11 I 'n"h d its destination quicker than most of 
'" II H l ri ts. 
n could observe that some of the vehicles 

ring the new vehicle licence number 
I '. 'Iltl introduced in Nigeria. On the Lagos 
1I1111lill'r, w could read the inscription: "Lagos: 
" I I1II {I f Excellence!" It was not. necessary to 

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37 

ask, "excellence' in what? That hot afternoon it 
was evidently an "excellence" in traffic jam. This is 
not to doubt other "excellencies" Lagos could have 
exhibited. 
We had no air-conditioner in the car; the 
heat was becoming unbearable. Fortunately we 
were not rushing to meet any particular 
appointment, so we eventually decided to branch 
out into the premises of a church. After a brief 
visit in the lonely God's house, we found a fairly 
large and promising book-shop nearby and 
decided to look around, hoping that we could 
soon continue our journey. We really needed 
something to while away the time. 

In the bookshop, a booklet titled "Jokes. For 
all Occasions", attracted my attention. It interested 
me to know the type of jokes people make in 
Nigeria. I thought some jokes could have a 
healing effect on the two of us, who were making 
a turbulent journey. Going through the book, I 
glanced at a title: "Future ambition". Anxiously, I 
went on to read the short presentation, wanting to 
know what the future ambition of a Nigerian 
could look like, these days. 

Permit me to first of all repeat the full text of 
this expensive Joke: 
"The teacher has asked his sixth form pupils to 
say what they wanted to be in future life. The 

38 

ror th pupils were as interesting a 
c ling: 

I w nt to be a State Governor. 
I w uld like to be a Minister, 
B th Grace of God I will be a Senate 
L d r. 
Aft r a deep thought) I want to be a 
i on Warder, to look after all of you 
ple some day in KIRIKIRI!!"3 

the book and for a while did not 
wi th r I should start laughing or 
I Ilg. My colleague made it then easier for me 
I I u~' h. h paradox of life could make one 
I It, I rh ps as a means of generating the 
II ,I I 	n rgy required to withstand the 
1\ influence of an incident. We discussed 
d the whole joke in some details. 

men and -women are usually held in 
v n when they are no longer in active 
.. his is the case when citizens could 

r to, at least, the efforts made by such a 
ntribute to the welfare of all; that is to 
r the common good. The situation in 
ms to be quite different. The respectful 
dership is being here associated with 
II) notorious prison-yard in the country, 
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39 

- __ .- 
- 	- 	--- 
------- 
Kirikiri. Is this one of those jokes just fabricated 
by the fantasy of a clever citizen? How does 
somebody develop the fantasy that Nigerians 
who held normally revered positions of service in 
the country would end up in Kirikiri? Is this just a 
reference to the fate of some Nigerian leaders in 
the past, who happened to be unfortunate? They 
were caught stealing, so they became thieves and 
landed in Kirikiri. Others, who were not caught in 
the active service of stealing and who hid their 
stolen goods safe, went free. 

In a country where cheating and corruption of 
every kind have consistently multiplied in the 
private as well as in the public sector of life.. are 
there reasons to think that our leaders are in any 
interested in the welfare of the populace? 

Usually leaders are there to work for the 
betterment of life for those they rule. This 
includes naturally that every effort should be 
made to fight against any attempt from any angle 
to enthrone the culture of death and dethrone the 
culture of life in the country. That means, it 
should be possible to discipline citizens who defer 
the rule of order and social justice. 

Which Nigerian ruler is today being 
remembered for any noble objective or sincere 
effort to work for the betterment of life in the 
country? Do you not think that this joke is calling 
for an examination of conscience! Does it not raise 
40 
f ur Stat m nand -w m n 
rt of every Nigerian? Why ar 
I I. III. I 11)1 	to fight corruption and public 
ountry? Do they not notice that 
wr ng? Or have they decided to 
t what is happening, perhaps 
'II I' III' r on the profiting side? Indeed, 
I" 111111,'. III us b wrong! 
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41 

5 
~he Tragedy of a self-made Chief 
or 
"Chief Omego Syndrome! 
'he issue being raised here is surely a type of 
hieftaincy title which has become a 
pathological" case. Usually one is made a chief 
'y a people. Chiefs are associated with edifying. 
haracter, honour and personal dignity. 
"Adapted from the Video-Film "Living in Bondage", written by 
~enneth Nnebue. (NEK Video Links Ltd. Lagos 1992). 
43 

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Of course not everyone could become 
chief. By the way, it is not at all necessary fo 
everyone to aspire to be made a chief. Whe: 
people start making themselves chief 
indiscriminately, in a context where people sa) 
there is or there should be freedom, nobod 
might succeed in preventing the inflation 0 I 
chiefs. This however leads to the tragedy 01 
"inflated" chiefs. You can imagine that "inflated' 
chiefs easily undergo a process of metamorphosi I 
in which they are changed into the condition II 
known as "inflammation", that is 'a condition in 
which, a part of the body is red, swollen ... " and 
so on. This can be very dangerous! 
In a social context where there are too many 
chiefs without any cogent reason for this, on 
says: "any he-goat can be a chief". 
If one does not want to think animalistic, then on 
would formulate it in a different way, thus: 
"any fool can be a chief". 

Should the person analysing this inflation of 
chiefs be gifted in the use of poetic rhythms, he 
will make use of a resounding combination as 
follows: 
II any thief can be a chief". 

From any angle you want to look at it, one thing 
is clear: a he-goat, a fool and a thief have in this 
regard one thing in common, namely, they are 
usually not associated with edifying character, 
honour and personal dignity. 
44 
	I III I I', III 'I Il i d l h v 	m thi~ 
I I III f 	iJ th Nig rian mOVI 
might however wonder 
yndrome" could be ~ll 
hi f Omego of "Living In 
	I I j II. t 	mong many of such chiefs 
" 1111' IOlllllry. 

I "" It' 1 lIy the point at stake; perhaps 
,II 1'1'1 I -mi diseases of the olden days 
II, 1"1 th.u: th chieftaincy syndrome today 
11.1. I w.mt t narrate to you some aspec~; 
figure called "Chief Ome~o, 
larify the issue here being 
ndrome. 

o belongs to a special class of 
II III NI~l -ri who are said to be ver? rich, but 
	,I 'I 	t even their house WIves know 

I",'" H urce of income. Story has it that 
hili')' I ved his mother very much and 
II III I :~I II nge of money became serious for 
II" It, I l pay a great price for it and s~ ~e 
	II II 	111 th r for the obnoxious ~acnfice 
,I" ay, guarantees his wealth till date. 

Illwhil he is married to three women 
I ~ \ I,' . h ld has turned into a battle fiel~ of 
11\ I hysical combat to determine which 
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45 

46 
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wives would be the first to secure th 
d effectively any day Chief Omega 
t spend the night in his house. At the 
, Chief Orne go, though already aging, 
I I t rdly allow any woman cross his sight 
I t trying to enlist her in the long litany of 
et enslaved to him through his 
of his recent targets is Merit, the 
II f at wife of Andy. A scene in the movie 
Itt ne of his attempts on Merit thus: Merit 
• I ntered a supermarket in the company of 
t I nd's sister to make some purchases. 
t ntally, as one would presume, Chief 
just passing through the street close to 
	II 	arket. As he notices Merit entering the 
I, h • orders his driver to stop immediately. 
I go quickly alights from his car and 
way into the supermarket to confront 
I I, l is meanwhile busy selecting the goods 
Itt purchase. 

I h recent past, before this current 
with Chief Omega, Merit. had resigned 
as secretary in an office because her 
t d her by making sexual advances to 
ffice. Chief Omego proves to be well 
bout this "sad" event and pretends to 

with Merit. Nevertheless he pr 
of his notorious off r t h ,t 
7 

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a fashion shop for her and solve all her problems. 
The only condition Merit has to fulfil is to becom 
yet another prey of his womanizing urge. 

Merit is furious' and interrogates" th 
seemingly kind Chief about the whereabout of hi 
mother, whom he is supposed to have loved very 
much, and about the welfare of his own wives. In • 
very clear terms, she warns him to desist from 
pestering her. With the support of her husband' 
sister, Merit makes a fool of the irresponsible chief 
and leaves him shamefully abandoned, in th 
shop. 

The word "shamefully" is normally' used to 
describe such a situation, but 'it 'is . doubtful 
whether 'the man called Omego knows anything 
that could be described as shameful. In the actual 
sense, there is every sigh that he has no sense of 
shame. All the same, the crazy chief; does not 
seem to have reckoned with such an open attack 
as he quietly returns' to his car. 	' 

A closer look at the incident reveals a lot of 
facts that could provoke thought "in the mind of a 
critical and careful observer. 
From all indications, one could say that 
Chief Omego manifests very obvious 
characteristics of real madness. Do you know the 
reasons for saying this? The speed with which 
Chief Omego ran into the market place, (though 
in this case a supermarket with less number of 
48 
I I 11111 ,), r minds one of a mad man w 
I III i i) 'I' a victim to molest in the way 
1'1'1'1,11 d in the market places. The only 
, m.uuin r l qualify Omego's madness fully 
III' It.l, n t yet pulled off his articles of 
II' III 111(' market place. There is, however, 
I (l,lB n to believe that he would not do 
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1", the attitude of the so-called chief 
I I hi h degree of molestation of 
II 1111111 It I in a total disgrace to married life. 
I I. Iii Ill. M rit posed to the chief are apt to 
IlItll III' (hi point: Chief Omego reduces the 
I 1'1'1 I'll f Merit to an occasion for sexual 
I I 111111 wi i h is dependent on whether a man 
III III' )1' n t, and not on whether the woman 
I 111'11 III I v with the man. Furthermore, one 
II I. I 	hill the wives of Chief Omego really 
II III II I III nd whether their welfare is in any 
1111111 'r h takes into serious consideration. 
1111'1'\' i really no reason to take Chief 
r aches and promises seriously 
woman who, possibly out of 
r ulting from financial misery, 
this degradation. This seems to be 
v ral young girls and women in 
y, just as presented in other 
n s in the movi . 
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Chief Omego who on another occasion 
boasts of the recognition he receives from the 
general public because of his money, is at the 
same time a share disgrace to the very concept of I 
chieftaincy. One wonders why it is at all I 
necessary to misuse this title since the type of life I 
Chief Omego has chosen to live does not have 
anything to do with being a chief. 

We should however not neglect the fact that 
such chiefs seem to be recognised by some 
citizens; otherwise they could not present 
themselves as chiefs in the public. Perhaps it has 
reached the stage that no one is any longer 
interested in knowing why such a dubious person 
calls himself a chief 

They call themselves Chief, these self-made 
chiefs. They use this title of dignity to cover up 
and win their victims. There is every indication 
that this title of honour and social responsibility is 
being misused by pronounced bandits. Is it not 
possible to regulate the use of titles and locate 
them appropriately in their social context? How 
long will women allow themselves become 
victims of such disgraceful and degrading 
approaches from people like Chief Omego? Do 
such people not feel the heart-breaking 
contradiction they portray when they carry this 
title of integrity and at the same time behave in 
the most irresponsible way anybody can think of? 
50 
son \ rd r in 
	I' 	) n w think 
hi \f wh n h like? 

I in ti n of these 
w still call or 
title Chief? Indeed 
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51 

6 
A fool at Lagos 
is doomed forever! 
: listened attentively to the stories my host had to 
:ell me when I casually visited him during the 
New Year celebrations. The much the young man 
seemed to know about Texas and many other 
cities in the USA really amazed me, all the more 
because of the excitement with which he 
described the details. All the same, I was not in a 
position to prove or disprove his stories. So, 
whether his descriptions were correct or not, this 
is another matter altogether. One thing was clear: 
the young man was thoroughly fascinated by 
53 

what he described as "High life", which seemed 
be found only in the townships. 

The young man in question rarely got II 
opportunity to visit the nearby cities of Enugu I 
Nsukka, though these two are the worst exampl 
one could cite as far as "life", more appropriate 
"high life", is concerned. Enugu is known to be 
city for gentlemen and -ladies, and the yOUl 
man in question would hardly refer to Nsukka 
a city or township. 	. 

In any case, my friend wanted to make n 
understand that there is life only in the famot 
cities the world hears about. Whoever went to tl 
township would find life. At the end, I did n( 
succeed in finding out exactly what this yoUl 
man described as "life". For him, the villa] 
should be considered as a place one visits once i 
a while, after one had succeeded in acquirin 
much wealth in the township. 

Later it became a bit clear to me why man 
young people, without plan, gather their proper! 
and disappear into any township' they fin 
possible. Usually they say, "just help me set m 
foot there, I will find my way". 

In the movie "Circle of Doom", one can s 
how the fateful Kalu eventually found his wa~ 
into the big city of Lagos. Many scenes present u 
with different pictures which give an idea of wha 

54 
II I T,.Itdt'd .IS "hi h Ii "in th t wn hi . 
I I II If, \ h.rl l rit ) K lu t Lago, it is not at 
I" I III)" I ha t h \ g tint th destructive way 
I 1111" 'II Ivs rib d in the title of the movie 
	II I" II I 	) im", 
II 'I, I n. \ rrat to you some of the scenes 
III tI I 1ll'1, u drive our point home. 

Il I I til, n ider how the village Kal u 
" i I1l ) the Lagos township: 

afternoon, Kal u seemed to be 
J programme in the village. He 
1.l1'ltll sw ating. It seemed he had got a 
III I' 1\ \ was in charge of all the Old Boys 
lion in the village. Normally he 
involved in the organization of 
med associations. 

u know the most recent and apt 
III II II" n ting? This is how a school class 
I 11" dt'fit ition: 
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11"11,, Ill' 	lengthy lecture on the 
nduct and organization of 
I uring a Seminar, the lecturer, 
know how much of what he 
w assimilated, asked his 
m ur discussions so far, who 
Meting?' Without much 
m n at the back of the class 
n w red: 'A meeting is a 
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.1·IIII'I'd 
11111 II .. 'PI' 
III d' in \ 
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55 

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group of people who keep minutes and 
waste hours!!"'5 
If you consider the matter again, you would 
understand how a meeting could easily change t 
be a group of people who waste hours and keep 
no minutes because the secretary did not come in 
time and the president left to fetch him. After 
some hours, the rest of the members then decided 
to go, one after the other, to find out what could 
be delaying the two officers. At the end, no on 
returned to the venue of the meeting again. 

In any case, Kalu organised meeting 
involving presidents and secretaries. He as well 
exercised his gallantry during the villag 
wrestling competitions. His family lived in a 
small thatched house, living from hand to mouth. 
Kalu seemed to be contented with his tattered 
brown singlet (the type fondly described as "it 
was white") and trousers. Once he mounted his 
old bicycle, he could tour round the whole village 
under rain or sunshine. 

Life in the village seemed simple and kind to 
Kalu, were it not for the fact that these township 
offsprings had consistently made things difficult 
for him. Whereas he reached every place he 
wanted with his "long [ohn">, these people from 
5 A. Gboteku: Jokes For all Ocassions, p. 14. 
6 A local slang for "bicycle". 
56 
y, Kalu was again busy with 
is old "long John" rolled 
y road and Kalu was, as he 

I d I I" .in iJ portant errand: The meeting of 
I I I ) " nd Girls Association had just 
I uu l IH was sent to fetch Nkechi, the 
II "tit' W()I 1. n secretary of the association. 
IIII' h \11 of his bicycle several times in 
N k hi's home before somebody 

I "11111.111 it was Nkechi's mother who came 
I , IIII I I II I t th reason for the visit. For a while 

lieve her eyes. She found it 
ine what on earth could have 
ting "suffer man" to her noble 
I 1111 tI.' S n as Kalu mentioned the name 
III" lilt' W man flared up: How could it ever 
s Kalu's mind to look for Nkechi, 
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7 

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58 
he harsh words with which the woman W H 
", crubbing"'7 the unworthy Kalu sounded lik 
big quarrel thereby attracting the attention of 
Nkechi's father. Without wasting time, the man 
arne out, to deal with the person provoking his 
wife to anger. 

Kalu stood there dumbfounded. His several 
attempts to enquire what could be wrong with his 
ming to invite Nkechi to normal meeting were 
,III in vain. Nkechi's father then made the matter 
(I ar to Kalu. 

What was wrong with Kalu? Nkechi's father 
III tioned the whole existence of the busy Kalu. 
"I you not know where your mates are, Kalu?", 
IH' asked. The unworthy visitor was made to 
1\ iw that some of his mates are in Lagos, others 
til Abuja or Port Harcourt. These township guys 
".IV built big houses in their homes and now 
III()V on four wheels. On the contrary, Kalu had 
Illlllinued wallowing round the village and 
III ~"lnizing unprecedented meetings. In simple 
"'rill: It was an insult to the noble family that the 
II (·1 \ S Kalu was standing before the house 
,.lIlling to associate himself with their daughter 
Nkt' hi. Nkechi's father ordered Kalu never to 
III IW hi dirty self in front of his house again. 
1.1" t 1111" mebody means as much as to "dress somebody down", 
til" t I III Id mebody severely. 
59 

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Kalu still wanted to know what the matter 
was all about, while the angry man re-entered hi 
house with the order: "wait for me, I am coming!" 
Kalu sensed correctly that the matter was deadly 
serious, so he decided to flee. Luckily for him, his 
bicycle did not disappoint him. By the time 
Nkechi's father re-appeared with a matchet in the 
hand, Kalu was already miles away, running for 
. dear life. 

Soon after this, another young man drove 
into the compound with a car. Nkechi came out 
immediately and both of them departed in a 
hilarious mood. That was the" type of fellow 
Nkechi's parents had talked about. Poor Kalu! It is 
now incumbent for him to re-examine his present 
life style. Whether he liked it or not, his whole 
existence had received a very big question mark. 

Eventually Kalu looked for, then got the 
opportunity and landed in that mysterious city 
called Lagos. It was a close relative of his who 
offered him an abode in Lagos to start life anew. 
What type of work did Kalu go to Lagos to do? 
Who asks such a question? He just went, and in 
Lagos one has to make it by all means. Kalu spent 
the days along the streets waiting for dear luck. It 
did not last long and the village Kalu became the 
township KC. And as soon as KC further 
graduated into KC Bombay, the circle of doom 
60 
I (111) I ltd. The fool at Lagos entered the 
I til II will qualify him for doom. 
III' Iurth r graduation went through several 
to 
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III . unshine was hard on him, Kalu was 

t lll~' rof~sely, but perhaps something could 
II 'II an hIS luck would shine! And something 
I h,'I I n. A young man approached Kalu and 
I til ~ 1 tieing business strategy to discuss with 
I J )t h of them pretended to have met and 
h other long before then. With this, the 
uld begin. What was it all about? 
l'h \ young man claimed to be in contact 

II I W althy Alhaji who had just received a big 
I Igll' nt of goods from overseas. These goods 
II ", the young man claimed, filled up a big 
I I ou ,was supposed to be worth millions of 

I Th Alhaji who supposedly did not know 
~I w rth of the goods was ready to sell them 
~'l \ way price of few thousands of Naira. 
I h \ deal was this: Kalu should pose in the 
II I f the Alhaji as a wealthy man who 
"I isily afford to buy off the goods in the 
I . The Alhaji would then release the 
lu and his new friend could then sell 
make a big profit, payoff the Alhaji 
st will belong to them. Of course, the 
tI.'1 I r ntage would belong to.Kalu, 
61 
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What a big deal! Or rather what a great 
illusion! A man who at this point in time had no 
kobo in his pocket imagined that he could now 
make a deal of millions of Naira without 
investing even a kobo. Is he clever or foolish? 

Kalu did not know that he was getting into 
the fishing net of seasoned rogues. What then 
followed classically. demonstrates the doom of a 
gullible and greedy fool. 

The Alhaji then came to discuss with the 
'rich merchant', Kalu. Since Kalu could not pay 
cash immediately, the Alhaji demanded a 
plausible guarantee that Kalu would do so later 
and they made an appointment for the following 
day. 

Kalu's excitement was indescribable. The 
wretched Kalu would now become a millionaire, 
he supposed. Reaching home, he narrated the big 
deal to his relative Chief Ike. The, time had now 
come for Chief Ike to help the P90r Kalu. For Kalu 
the issue at stake must have b~en a very simple 
one: The following da ,.Kalu would drive with 
Chief Ike's car to the place they agreed on, so that 
the Alhaji would accept to sell the goods to Kalu, 
as simple as that. Therefore, Kalu asked his 
relative to let him use his car as a guarantee for 
the whole business. 
62 
, he already seasoned Lagos business m n 

I I' Ike, ~nderstood the very expensive jok~ 
II and tned to convince Kalu that the whole 
,was an abs~lute frame-up. He consequently 
to offer hIS car for it, and was furious that 
lu r fused to see reason. On his own part, Kalu 
II, I not understand why his cousin was no 
III I,'r ready to help him, as he had promised. As 
III s. Chief Ike left the house, Kalu, 
rding the warning of his cousin, looked for 
, I found the key to the car and drove away in it 
, J the deadly appointment. 

'l'h deal could now be sealed. Kalu handed 
t I key of the vehicle to the Alhaji, who 

I I' t the scene on foot. Then they made an 
I" untment the following day for him to claim 
" ~',I)() s. Up till then, Kalu was not wise enough 
II. ver that there was something irregular 
I '111 th whole business. 
'II) f I 
o lowing day, Kalu arrived at the 

. rranged, only to reap the bitter fruits of 
'11,111 le foolis~ness. The meeting place had 
II Iran formed Into something else. The man at 
f, lIt' had to force Kalu out of the place. And 
III ing arrangement was completely' 
ful. Chief Ike's car was gone Kalu's" 
	III ' 	,new- 
tl It -n nd the Alhaji were all at large, not to 

I 11111111 warehouse or goods worth millions of 
whi h certainly never existed. Kalu went 
63 
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home empty handed. His miserable state was like 
falling from frying pan into fire. 

The myth of the township has destroyed 
many young people in our country today. People 
talk of the township as if to say it were a place 
where one could pick up huge lumps of money 
along the streets. The mystification of the 
township has indeed very obvious reasons. 

The simple and humble way of life in the 
village has been overtaken by many events. As 
the society becomes more complex and develops, 
life is no longer limited to the 'mere existence of 
spending the whole day trying to make a day's 
meal available to many dependants in a family. 
There is now the desire to attend school and learn 
a trade, build bigger and more comfortable 
houses and enjoy other types of leisure as often 
projected through the media. Why must one 
today cover very far distances on foot whereas 
there are faster and more comfortable means of 
transportation? All these cost a lot of money, and 
the amenities available in our villages' today do 
not offer any reasonable opportunity to rise to 
affluence. The modern way of life is very 
attractive, but there is no chance for many to have 
even a fairly equitable share in it. 

Those who live in the cities playa major rol 
in mystifying the city life. Kalu was considered a 
64 
110 -out because he had not been able to a hi v \ 
II u . much his mates in the cities seem to hav 
III v~d. His environment, in the persons of 
N l' hi s parents and his own parents made it 
II ir ~o hi~ that he had to join oth:rs in the 
I ursuit of life. The village has been reduced into a 
111.1t 'where people suffer all forms of hardship. 
This assessment of the village is not at all 
I on . In many villages the basic needs are not at 
II g~aranteed: no regular supply of water no 
I xtri power supply, no medical care, no re~ular 
I 'i I n of transportation, do not talk about the 
II His. As a result, no industry is being cited in the 
III,," ,and therefore no job opportunities are 
1I11ble to the people. No wonder then that 
11.111 p~op~e say, "just let me come to the city, 
,,,:1 il will fI~d my way". And when they arrive 
III I , they find that all that glitters is not gold. 
I I II I w uld normally not allow them to rethink 
III' \ ,11 le undertaking. By the way, can the life in 
III ge offer them any better alternative? So 
I lunge themselves into series of dubious 
" 1111".' arrangements better described as a circle 
I I. II 11'1, for themselves but also for many other 
(I I II. in the country. 

I'll \ trange ~hing i~ that many people go to 
III tit l wnship nursIng the illusion that they 
1111 I 11 k t~e big catch overnight. Every 
u mess man knows the percentage 
65 
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of hard work, planning and capital investment it 
demands before one can establish a successful 
business that can yield high dividends. But today 
you meet many "Kalus" who believe that it is easy 
to become a millionaire overnight, just by a .stroke 
of chance. How can a young man believe that he 
does not need to plan his life well in order to 
become rich? ,Who actually gives the impression 
that such things are possible? Is it not clear that 
the secret of success lies in hard work? What is 
the origin of this illusion which has continued to 
ruin many in the country today? 

Go to our big cities, many young people are 
roaming about in search of dear luck. Promising 
young men decide to roam about to see whether 
there is somebody they could dupe and become 
. .rich, since even the cities cannot guarantee them 
the wealth they are in search of. It seems they 
have formed clubs; many of them are now putting 
on badges to present themselves as authorised 
staff of one wonder-making company or the 
other. 

Yet we have a Government, fellow citizens 
who should be working for the welfare of the 
populace. Are those employed to take care of such 
situations helpless? What attempts are being 
made to see that the basic amenities are available 
to the people also in the villages? To make safe 
potable water available on a regular basis: is this 

66 

mpo sible today in Nigeria? Have w n l 
,lis, ~ the tra?"ic situation of life in many of our 
, ities? Which attempts are being made to 
I '.ll job opportunities for as many citizens as 
J II • ible? Is anybody profiting anything from 
III II ~n appalling situation of life in Nigeria? 
110 IS really working for a change? Indeed 
	11l1('thing must be wrong! 	' 

The story of Kalu has not yet ended. The 
I,' I hapter has more to tell us about the circle of 
1'"lIn. 

7 

7 
The "Patriots" of doom! 
or 
"Ndi-new-obodo Mania" 
hey are always busy, but nobody knows exactly 
rhat they are doing. They hold meetings, but not 
ven their house wives know where they meet. 
'hese men regard themselves not just as owners 
f the land, no; their position is in the superlative. 
'here are owners of the country, but they are the 
eal owners of those owners of the country. You 
:ould go imagining what this could mean. If you 
malyse their way of life and you will agree with 
ne that it must be a type of mania which makes 
69 

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the circle of doom very functional. Call it "Ndi 
	neui-obodo "-Manias. 	The process of sel 
destruction is most typically exemplified in then 
way of life. Frankly speaking, it is not quit; 
correct to use the expression "way of life", n I 
there is no better description of their life style 
than the "circle of doom", And since they are yet 
fellow citizens ofthe country, you could talk 0 
"patriots", but then "patriots of doom". You can 
see that this description IS a bundle of 
	contradiction. 	l: 

Read the story of how Kalu came to join them: 

The movie presents a scene showing how 
Kalu became a member of the secret club 
described above. The other members further 
promoted the village Kalu to KC Bombay. His 
cousin, Chief Ike, pleaded for his course and he 
was integrated into the business. When you hear 
KC Bombay, you can already imagine the 
international character of their business dealings. 
It demands a lot of attention and imagination for 
a normal thinking person to make out what could 
be their real business. 

Name it; these men seem to have a solution 
for every problem, but not for the predicament of 
their country. Perhaps it is correct to say that they 

R Adapt d from the Video-Film "Circle of Doorn". 
70 

I making every effort to transform the count y 
I to modern type of barbarism. No other term 
iu Id better describe their partnership in evil. 
I y seem to derive pleasure in intimidating 
.body th~y could; they defy every type of 
1 ~ order m a way no normal human being can 
r ' glne. You can say that they deploy every 
r ns to destabilize the normal functioning of an 
ganised society. At the same time, they claim to 
1 the real masters of the owners of the country. 
Ir deed a strange and shameful paradox! 
During the official initiation of the village 

~u that transformed him into KC Bombay, their 
I hIlo~ophy and area of operation were briefly 
i scribed. A concise description of their 
I hilosophy is as follows: 
The richest ones are not those who work 
hardest. If that were to be the case, the 
truck-pushers would be the richest in the 
country. But they are not the richest 
ones. The most important thing is contact 
and connection. 

ventually it will be very clear that the type of 
ontact and connection meant here are nothing 
lse than a "partnership in evil". 

Each member is in charge of a particular 
rea of operation. Talk of getting a visa to any 
part of the world, to Germany, to Italy, to Spain, 
l any of the lucrative business centres in the 
71 

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A i n countries, name it, you get it within a 

uple of hours. Mention any route, where you 
think the custom officers are so strict that drug 
pushers would not get through without being 
caught, there is a member who sees to it that the 
illegal business goes on successfully. Talk of any 
place you think there is no way into it, if the 
person in charge points his finger, all doors fly 
open. They describe their boss as the "Finisher". 
This implies that should it ever happen that 
something goes amiss; the boss puts it in order. At 
his "initiation, Kalu was given the assurance that 
for this strange club nothing is impossible! Sooner 
or later it will be clear that the matter is not as 
simple as the members would like have it. 

During one of their meetings, they have a 
hard nut to crack: three women they sent on 
m sage are being held in prison overseas. The 
boss r p rt that all efforts had b n made to get 
them fr e, but all in vain. You will think they have 
no solution t thi. But, v n in uch a case, the 
members had alr ady ad t dam d of action, 
for them it is a simpl In tt r t lve: Now, 
before those women are forc d t r veal those 
who sent them for the obnoxiou bu iness, the 
"Finisher" has to work for their elimination. 

72 

73 

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Elimination is the "simple" solution of 
getting these young women killed in the prison so 
that the law enforcement agents of the overseas 
country will not have any opportunity to find out 
those who sent them. 

Do not forget that the normal arrangement 
was, to get them out of the prison. You can 
imagine "that they' had on several occasions 
succeeded in getting themselves out of difficulty 
through their peculiar means of operation. Do not 
ask me, how. This time around it seems they are 
dealing with hard, incorruptible law enforcement 
agents, who are out to perform their duty. 

In any case, they have a reason to use the 
solution of elimination, to cur their identity. 
But there is a brief disagreem nt. One of the girls 
to be eliminated is the futur wif of a member. 
The member concern d i fir t f all not agreeable 
to the solution of eliminati n. had spent his 
wealth training th y un w m n, including her 
relatives. Presently arr n m nt have been 
completed for the marriag r m nies. So he 
demands that more efforts b made to get the 
women free. But the "Finish r'' r iterates firmly 
that there is nothing else to be done. 

In the loud controversy which follows, the 
members remind each other of their agreement on 
such matters. They know that it is hard for the 
person directly concerned, but he now has to 
74 

11 th I I 
	. 	man Eventua Y 
h
	he is a· 	. 
show t a 	. 	h 	1 tion of eliminatl 1 . 
	d ai 	in for t e so u 
oncerne glveS . 1 . question has be n 
he case of the three glr yS in see even in such a 
	. 	1 as that au' 	h 
settled, as slmp e 	'. 	ossible for them. T e 
	. 	thing seems irnp 
	i:uatlOn, no 	d their business continues. 
g
	lfls are dead, an 		nts among the 
1
		disagreeme 
	Neverthe ess, 		fully settled as 
t lways so peace 
	members are no a hi 	be substantiated by 
b
  T is can 
	. the matter a ov . 	. 
	ln 	.' th mOVle. 
	two other inCldents in e 	Chief Ike was 
	resents where 	. 
One scene p dl b hired assassins in the 
shot dead cold bloodehy . Y the village as a result 
f
	hi old fat er in 	f h 
presence a is h had with one ate 
of a business squabble e . g the next victim 
members. As this was happenln 
	was being discussed. 	. 	. The boss 
	. 	y slmple one. 
The story is aver. ht d has to face the 
. the rug an 
returns to? late ~n . fe He demands for food and 

hard verdlct of hls Wl . hi . rlfriend with whom 
his wife wonders why is gll . ghts did not give 
d
		ent severa ru 	b 
	he suppose y sp 	Th boss claims to e 
	hi 	to eat. 	e 	d 
	him somet rng 	f b t his wife is not rea y 
f
		the of ice, u 	. 
	returning rom 		sive J'oke again- 
h an expen 
to listen to sue . t a back to where he 
Eventually she directs h~m a glonger ready to be 
	. e she is no 		d 
	came from, Slnc 	. h 	ld be tuned on an 
d

 'ke a TV set whlc cou 
treate 1 
off, just as one wishes. 

75 

Out of anger th b 
Among others she re;ort~s:h goes to his girlfriend. 

her house and mad at KC Bombay was in 
Consequently the b e some approaches to her 
b h oss as sur s th . 1 . 
	oss, as a solution to th t i 	glr that he, the 
a Insult. 
At the next meetin . 
opportunity t. 	g, th 
o Implement hi 
convinces th 	1 
e members that . 
were no more there t In th three girls 

Bombay should 0 pu h th ir drugs, KC 
around Th . go on th 1"T nd this time 
. ere IS no op 0 . . 
they succeed' 	. p. iti 1 	L 11 to this,· rather 
In convmcm 
would surely get h. 	mbay that they 
	. h 	im ut f 
Illig t fall into. 		ny problem he 
boss gets the 
vil intent. He 
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lr v Is to the 
the 
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the members, one after th 
nfortunately, the impression is created that th Y 

would never fail to recruit new memb r , 
nsidering the way they lavishly through about 

their wealth their wealth. Uncritical minds would 
think that they live a very comfortable life. On the 
ther hand, one would wonder how such a group 
f people could exist and function at all in a 
country which has laws and law enforcement 
agents to protect the values of organized society. 

Frankly speaking, one gets the impression 
that a group of bandits has succeeded in taking 
over power in the country. Such people seem to 
confront little or no opposition at all in their 
business strategies which defy the law of the 
country to their own selfish advantage. What 
could be expected of a group of bandits other 
than an unimaginable dubious way of life, and 
consequently a consistent destruction of all 

. positive values of life? A culture of death becomes 
the order of the day. Nevertheless, the culture of 

life is stronger than that of death, and when the 
proprietorS of evil are strongly challenged by the 
culture of life, they develop a system of 
intimidation as a means of making th~ rest of the 
people helpless. 
Considering the whole situation closely, it is 

clear that these people have neither a value for 
life, nor a liking for personal dignity. In the actual 
77 

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'", .: 
. , 
sense, such activities they operate should not be 
allowed to go on with impunity within a country 
that has a government. But th movie seems to 
show vividly that other forc r ther than the 
governing populace have taken v r power in the 
country. If we still have a gov rnm nt, as we all 
suppose, the departments r p n ible for the 
different affairs of life in th untry must have in 
one way or the oth r r li d the evil 
machinations of such corru t individuals. Or 
could it be that the gov rnm nt h not noticed 
such activities? This would h w v r mean that it 
is through and through in ff Liv, t the extent 
that it does not notice th tiL has lost its power. In 
	such a case, the ruler h ul h v 	nfessed their 
'inability and eventually l 	wn from their 
	offices. For goodnes 	k tl r i no legitimate 
	reason for anybody t 	n ffice if he or 
	she cannot fulfil th 	tt ched to that 
office. 
	On the th r hand, i 	be that the 
government is w 11 inf rrn 
and has also been so intimi 
decided to close her ey t 
then suspect that she is in on w y r the other on 
the "profiting" side, otherwise th r is no other 
reason that could make a gov rnm nt close her 
eyes and hand over power to th v ry enemies of 
constituted communal existence. A government 
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78 

arty to the tru l r I • I 
which has become a P '. t the very' P lity 
	Tt ti g agame 	.L 
destruction rru 1 a . n 	t to pursue ceases to b 
whose interest she IS mean f 	to qualify it as a 
1 ss one pre ers 
a government, un e I effect, she should not 
malicious governmen~ n tand and stop claiming 
waste time to declare C: ~ . als are not meant to 
 h' not nmln 
	to be what s e IS 	. 	11' t belongs to the 
	try Actua y 1 	. . 
govern a countrv- t to guard its CItizens 

function of a governm~n caused by such 
. t the destructIon 
	agalnS 	. 	b e 
	individuals as descnbed a ov . 	" 	. 

  we categonse our 
hi h group s 0 

	In w ic 	11 working for our 
	? Are they rea Y 	f 
	olitical lea ers. 	.' d the patriots 0 
		they now JOlne 	" 
	interest or ave 	.' today at all called for 
	thi question IS 	',. 
	doom? That IS. 	th fact that there IS 
	, 	. . a pOInter to e 	hi 
	in Nlgena IS 	t 	Surely, somet ing 
confusion in the whole se up. 

I 
must be wrong. 
: '" 
, " 
", 
." 
79 
h
h
u
l
d
d
P
h

8 
The "Holy" Thieves 
and 
The "god" of Bandits? 
Being a thief and at the same time holy, is an issue 
a simple mind would regard as contradictory. All 
the same, this contradiction could make one think 
of the repentant sinner hanging near the cross of 
Jesus on Mountain Calvary, a seasoned criminal 
who in the very last minute merited being with 
Jesus in paradise. With this stroke of luck, all his 
9 Adapted from the Video-Film "Living in Bondage". 
81 

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• 

evil deeds for which he was being tortured on the 
cross became a forgiven and forgotten issue. 
It is perhaps understandable that such 
salvific contradictions are rampant in the context 
of biblical narratives. But, the generation of 
thieves the title of this chapter is referring to, has 
a peculiar characteristic. Moreover, you will come 
to understand that the "god" being discussed is a 
new creation in the Nigerian society. 
Indeed, what has not yet been done in the 
name of God? People have molested, disgraced, 
insulted and even killed each other, and at the 
same time claiming that they are obeying and 
pleasing God. The monotheistic religions 
represented today in Nigeria teach us that there is 
only one God and only this should be 
worshipped. Reference is easily made to the fact 
that you cannot worship God and mammon. 
Above all, this God is kind and all merciful. 
However, these religions seem to have 
forgotten an important aspect of "God" which 
many people, including self-made holy prophets, 
have discovered of recent in Nigeria. The new 
discoverers have abolished the whole dichotomy: 
They now worship God and mammon and pay 
homage to both of them. With this, they have 
developed a way of life which should make it 
possible for them to go to heaven at all costs. Do 
not be surprised that as of now, even Lucifer has a 
82 

good opportunity to be one day in heaven. Do not 
ask me when and how . 
Consider the following story of Andy in . the 
movie, "Living in Bondage". 
Andy is alone in his sitting room. Someone 
knocks at the door; Andy opens and receives a 
mail. He surveys the envelope from both sides 
before opening it. No good .news! 'He has rarely 
finished reading the letter as he immediately 
throws it to the floor, relapsed into the cushion 
chair: What has he done wrong In this world to 
merit such an ocean of woes, he asks himself in a 
soliloquy. All his efforts end up in a 
disappointment. He now recounts a litany of 
woes he had gone through. The only luck he has 
in his life is his wife Merit. 
. All his colleagues with whom he started 
business at the same time seem to be .iiving in a 
different world altogether. They. are now very 
successful business men who are practically 
swimming in money. Andy wants then to know 
from his "Chi" whether he .was born to suffer in 
this life. Or are. there people who are working 
against his success? 
Take note of this, the tragic mind-set has 
been'switched on in the life of Andy. When a 
human being approaches his difficulty from the. 
point of view of what somebody else is doing 
83 

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	For a while Andy' 	h 	ntered the 
	room. quietly carrying 		food. She 
	overhears the puzzling s lil 11 		h r husband, 
Andy, puts the tray on the ini I and listens 
	attentively to her Andy. h 	di covers the 
	letter lying on the floor, pi 	up, and goes 
	through it. Strongly moved by 	t concern, she 
	kneels down close to Andy, 	him gently 

and lovingly on the should r. Alth ugh Andy 
seems to ignore her warm con r, Merit did not 
give U~,. "There is ~obody workin against your 
success, she admonishas. "Neith r i it the will of 
God that :you do not get rich. Wh t is actually 
wrong .~ith you Andy!? Ev ry time, you are 
complaInIng about m n y!" M rit furth 
	I. d 	er 
rernm s Andy how he con i t ntly resigned his 

po~ts. The last place of work wa a bank. All the 
at~en:Rts Merit made to convinc him to maintain 
this Job was in vain. Andy resigned from there 
after a short while. 

. By the way, Merit has yet another point to 
make about th~se, other friends and so-called 
colleagues of ~ndy .. No one knows exactly the 
Source of their overwhelming wealth, killing, 
84 

.against his success, h 
	that will guarantee hi 	jill" 

refuses to look his diffi ullie: I 
in the face, he compoun J iii 
"a living in bondage". 

tiv machinery 
n as Andy 
il ures directly 
h llenges into 

drug pushing and such illegal means. L tly h· 
expresses her fear: "Andy, I am already afraid th l 
you might meddle with such dirty and deadly 
businesses just for the great urge for money", she 
concluded pathetically. 

At this juncture, Andy springs up from the 
seat and wondered how Merit could at all have 
such an idea! Now they seem to agree with each 
other that a peaceful and joyous heart is worth 
much more than money and material wealth, and 
that it is worthwhile for them to be contented 
with what they have. But, this agreement does not 
last long. Soon after, Andy made the contact that 
will mislead him into the company Merit warned 
him against. 

One afternoon, Andy meets his friend Paul 
and narrates to him the ordeals' of his poor life. 
Paul promises to help his friend, provided Andy 
is ready to "pursue" money in the way it" is done. 
Without considering what this could imply, Andy 
quickly agrees to do whatever Paul directs. What 
Andy wants is simply that money flows. 
	, 	. 

Eventually Andy finds himself in the secret 
chamber of a group of rich' bandits. 'As a condition 
for his official initiation' into this g!OUP and in~? 
the "magical" means of money making, Andy has 
to bring. his wife ("the person he loves most") for 
the bloody sacrifice to Lucifer, whom this group 
worships. Andy tries to refuse getting involved in 
85 

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such an atrocity, nsi 111';11 I th fact that he is a 
Christian and th t u 1 U,) a Li n would merit 
him eternal damna ti 11 j n I III. 
	At this junctur , Lh 	rj t of the group 

asks his members wh th r th y believed, that 
God, about whom Chri Un's y that he is all 
merciful, will ever cond mn v n th worst of his 
children to hell? All { th m joyfully 
acknowledged that God i all m r iful. 

. Andy later makes an tt mpt to bring 
another woman, a prostitut , in plac of his wife, 

, but the plan fails. As they thr at n to kill Andy 
himself, he makes a firm promi and later brings 
his wife Merit for the devilish acrifice. Merit dies 
Soon after in a hospital. 
	, 	, 

The reader might not find it difficult to 
understand what has taken plac in the minds of 
the members of the secret cult. Can you imagine 
that!, many prophets in Nigeria today' are 
shouting and preaching everyday, trying to 
explain issues about the Christian God or about 
the Islamic Allah. Many prophets have arisen to 
preach the message of salvation., These 
. intellectuals and preachers seem not to realise the 
.fact that a completely new "god" has been 
introduced into the Nigerian scene by, the secret 
:cult-members. The characteristics of this new god 
could be sll.mmarized as follows: 
86 

(i) For these secret cult members, thi 	Hilt! 

have created the whole world including hl I 
beings. Actually they would not need to q~ r 1 
about that, there is even no need starti g a 
discussion on this matter. 	. 

(ii) The cult members would like to certaI~ly 
believe that the new god has nothing ~o d~ wl.th 
their life and actions here and today In Nlge~la. 
Lucifer offers them more interesting and effective 
sources of happiness. 

(iii) Above all, the cult members would want to be 
certain that after death, this "god" will not allow 
anybody among them to suffer eternally because 
this god is all-merciful. 

You can see that the members of this secret 
cult have not only created a new' world for 
themselves, they have in addition creat~d a new 
god and a new heaven. They are operating ~t ~n 
existential frequency which is no l.onger :Wlt~ln 
the reach of the society they physlcall~ hve m. 
That means, no religious message, no socl~l order, 
no constituted law could find a way Into the 
totality of the existential territory of such 
individuals. 

With such a frame of mind, the Good News 
of the resurrection of Christ is tremen~ou~ly 
devoid of its existential meaning for the dally life 
of peoples. The bandits know very well that what 
they are doing is wrong, the extent they go to 
87 

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	. ensure that their activiti 	k 
r ept secret, proves 
this. They sacrifice "th n th I 
	. 	Y ove most", a 
very ex~enslve capital inv tm nt indeed. Who 
	would nsk putting such an inv t 	t i d 
men In anger? 
N_ormally, when somebody knows that 
	somethIng is wr 	h 	k 
	. . 	ong, e ma es every effort to 
aVOId It. But in this case, every effort is made to 

ensur~ that what is known to be evil is continually 
consolIdated, since the problem of hell seems to 
have been solved: Heaven is certain even much 
later! The kin~dom of God has been besieged and 
reduce~ drastIcally to a small piece of inheritance 
to be enjoyed anytime later, even much later. 

One. can only wonder what made such a 
new creation possible. Nigeria is a country where 
ma.ny prophets and missionaries have been very 
activo, a country that has been ruled by iti 

who proclaim their faith in one of the ClIo I~ens 
b .. re Iglons 
elng practIsed in different parts of the h 
	. . 	uman 
s.oCletIes. In other words, Nigeria has been at one 
time or the other ruled by religious men and 
wome~. Anyone who considers the very concept 
of . ~elng religious would expect that where 
	religious men 		d 
	'. 	an 		women operate, the' 
contnbute t.o .bringing their fellow citizens near; 

to .God by living' a life which makes this nearness 
eVIdent and plausible. 

. vye have had rulers who seemed to be 
practIsIng and living a conscientious life. At the 
88 

time when "voting" existed in th 
dictionary of Nigeria, citizens cast their vot r 
such people regarded as religious or piou I 
hoping that their religious attitude to life would 
contribute to social justice and respect for 
humanity as a creation of God. The voters 
thought that such leaders would exhibit a fear of 
God in their political career. 

However, it is one of our experiences that as 
soon as even the supposedly holy citizens landed 
on the seat of power, every sign of holiness 
disappeared, such that one wonders what could 
have suddenly happened to such people. Did the 
preachers teach him a more or less useless 
religious practice, one which has no existential 
import for the human life here and today? Or do 
we have to say that the structures such people 
suddenly found themselves in were already so 
corrupt, that even the conscientious man had no 
chance to manifest the love that should have 
become apart of his life. In that case, one had 
expected that the religious leader would expose 
such evils and/or eventually step down, should 
he really see no means of correcting them. Or 
perhaps such leaders were so hit and 
incapacitated that they had no means other than 
to join the others. They fell and could not .rise 
again . 

89 

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	-In other word ,lh 	h v n t only been 
defeated, should th y v r I v had any vision 
for governance, but in Hi J h v been taught 
how to cheat and kill. An wh n man abandons 
the ideals he professed durin the campaigns 
within a short space of tim, n questions the 
integrity of such a person. the religious 
training ever made a lasting impact on the life of 
the person concerned? All th preaching about 
love and daily act of conversion, are they all for 
nothing? 
No wonder then that we seem to have a 
new generation in the country today. When we 
think of a human being who worships both God 
and Lucifer, just according to his convenience, 
this seems to be an explanation for the 
continuously consistent multiplication of 
corruption and evil in our country. For, it seems 
that some people have been able to convince 
themselves that they could commit any type of 
evil and get away with it. It seems we have a 
good number of citizens or even influential 
leaders who neither fear God nor respect man. 
The catastrophic outcome of such a frame of mind 
is being witnessed today in every part of the 
country. 
Although the movie went on to present the 
tortures Andy experienced as a punishment for 
his evil deed, he appears to be an' insignificant 
90 

exception among many. One would sup 	. 
the movie is 'meant to' 'criticise some of th vII 
dealings in the country; at the same time th 
"triumph of evil" is vividly portrayed through th 
enticing way of life which the other n:emb~rs of 
the secret cult live in the society. Their lOgIC for 
survival seems to be, if you are hard enough, you 
can do it and succeed, if you are weak, then you 
can suffer the way Andy did and remain poor 
forever. That means, 'not withstanding the 
tortures of the pricking conscience' is looked 
upon a sign of weakness. Which Nigerian wants 
to be considered a weakling? 
The members of the secret cult profess their 
faith in Lucifer, believe however that Christian 
God is all-merciful and would not condemn any 
of them to eternal suffering. The level of 
corruption in Nigeria today is ?nly possible i~ a 
society where this frame of mind plays a major 
role in the way of life of many. One can sa~ that 
these bandits are misusing the name of God In the 
interest of their business of death. Which Church 
would like to prove to these people that they will 
certainly go to hell? On the other hand, ~ho 
would like to be associated with a heaven filled 
up with such bandits? If a person gets so 
hardened that he neither fears God nor respects 
man, what type of preaching would make any 
meaning to him? What at all on earth mak 
. , 

meaningfo such a group of people other than 
their . selfishly devilish plans? . Certainly, 
something mustbe wrong. 
	'. 	" 	I 
. ! 
...... 
• "I 
.: 
. . ' 

	• 	> 

. ~. 
Ezenna has struggled hard to become a teacher. 
He had to sacrifice every free ,tiri\e and 
convenience in order to finance his education.' 
Academically speaking, he was an all-rounder. Iri 
. ·a system of life where merit is cherished, he could 
have risen to a high post in order to influence 
," principles in such a way that his fellow Citizens 
	would be proud of Him and the couritry~' 	. 
. hi spite ·of his academic success, Ezenna had 
no ·opporturiitY . to get into a classroom in . the 
. usual way stipulated by the educationalsystem in 

, . 

92 

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the country. For several years he made every 
effort to prove to his colleagues that it is possible 
to get a job in his field of work without soiling his 
hands with the "naira-palm-greasing" method 
otherwise known as the Nigerian factor. Call it 
what else you like, wha~ ,I mean is bribery. After 
trying in vain to prove his integrity as a person of 
honour, he was forced 'to realise that he is in 
Nigeria, as his friends always told him. Then, he 
had to consider the Nigerian element and bribe 
	his way through. 				;i' : 
	• '. 	.•. 	i;' <.~;; -, . 	..' 	. 	;.. 
Suddenly it was -possible for him to start 
teaching any time he wanted. Eventually he got 
into the system. Why was it' that he had to wait 
for so long? Is he the Jesus of Nazareth who came 
to save the whole world and consequently 
suffered and died for this mission? Ezenna 
considered the whole 'painful ordeal OJ.1ce < and , 
	.... . 	. 	. 		. ' .. -,' 	. 		. , 
	agam. 						" 
	e 			, 
It. was not at all surprising that be because 
he gradually got, into the mainstream .of affairs 
because he really had a sound education and was, 
known to be a per?on of honour and integrity. His .. 
success in discharging the. duties entrusted tohis , ' 
care made him get one promotion after t.he > other 
until he became in charge of teachers' salaries in " 
the State. Those who knew .him ' personally , 
thought that the- decision to "employ such a' 
respectful person in the new post was a positive 
94 

sign that the new government was now 
determined to employ competent hands and 
cherish the talents of citizens. Ezenna would now, 
his colleagues thought, trigger a process of change 
in the management of educational institutions. 
On the other hand, Ezenna met a system in 
which everything seemed to be possible. Frankly 
speaking, he himself wanted to become rich as 
soon as possible. Since he has noticed that 
everything is possible in this system, as long as 
you know the right people to meet, the fear of 
being caught became the characteristic of those 
who do not know the way. By the way, all other 
officers he needed to achieve his financial aim 
were already waiting for his call, including other 
state and federal ministries, the banks and other 
financial houses. There was nothing to fear! After 
all, who in Nigeria is prepared to solve the 
problem of Nigeria? Must it be Ezenna, who has 
suffered so much already? The temptation, as it is 
casually called, was very strong on him. 
So, the salary for teachers in the State was 
now at his disposal. In the recent past, the banks 
and other financial houses had developed a 
system which made it possible to .make an 
optimal use of his position thus: If you deposit a 
huge amount of money with them, they will be 
giving you such a percentage of interest, that for 
many years you would not need to touch your 
95 

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own salary at all. The few obstacles at the 
different levels will be settled with a 
comparatively meagre sum. Why not do it only 
once, make the big gain and then stop? The rest of 
, the teachers will only have to wait for some 
months before getting their salary. These teachers 
would certainly protest or even go on strike for 
some time. Eventually they will be paid. 
But, once was not enough. For six months 
teachers did not received their salaries. Gradually 
it was getting to a year. Meanwhile the worst of it 
all happened; the bank that promised to triple his 
interest was on the verge of bankruptcy. Those 
who needed a good lump of money from their 
accounts needed to meet some officers of the bank 
privately for special consideration. 
The teachers went really on strike, as 
Ezenna anticipated. Those in charge were 
promising to pay, but in the actual sense, the 
,money was already in the hands of others. As a 
'result of this, Ezenna and his men adopted 
another policy. For the time teachers were on 
strike for _not being paid their salary, it was 
considered that they did not work; therefore they 
did not merit any salary for that period. This was 
.. '" announced to the teachers. Yet no salary was 

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paid. Ezenna and his compatriots knew very well 
that they were in a big mess, but all the same they 
felt there was nothing they could do about it. 
I leave it for the reader to imagine how such 
a mess and other consequent chains of reaction 
could be corrected. 
Think of somebody who once in the past 
could hardly feed himself alone, and now finds 
himself in the position to make a gain of what 
could feed thousands of teachers and their 
families. It really demands a high degree of hard 
heartedness to involve oneself in such a corrupt 
venture. A human being will live and see himself 
depriving thousands and millions of hum~n 
beings of their means of bare subsistence and will 
go on with it. 
By the way, to employ somebody on ten~s 
of monthly payment a~d then let him work for SIX 
months without. any payment; is that not a 
criminal offence usually punishable by law? Is it 
not surprisirig that mainly government workers 
do not receive their salary in t~i$ country? 
Already in the secondary school we were 
taught that banks and financial houses are t~ere 
to champion a healthy economic system In a 
country. But today it seems we have barely banks 
of bankruptcy. 
98 

It is unbelievable. what happens in these big 
houses called banks. When you put on ~ tic, cal.! y 
a portfolio containIng a fairly huge amount of 
money, the bank manager would come out to 
greet you and even offer you a seat in his office. 
When you go again to withdraw a little amount 
for the daily need, the woman at the counter 
would tighten her beautiful face in order to 
appear ugly, and announce to you: It is not easy 
to get out your money! After keeping you waiting 
for long, she could decide to make a "kind offer" 
to you: If you promise to give her just a little 
amount, then she will make sure that you get 
some money the following day! 
. . The poor man needs money urgently to feed 
his family and pay the school fees of his children. 
Should he take the bank to court, he would be 
sure to lose the case because big people know 
how to press the functional buttons. Is there 
nothing wrong with such a bank as well as with a 
legal system which is associated with such 
abuses? The banker and his compatriots are either 
rogues or murderers or both. 
If we look at the case of Ezenna again, we 
can now see the reason why a bank manager does 
not question a customer who deposits the salary 
of government workers in his private account? 
D~es the banking system not see anything wrong 
WIth the present situation? Does the state of the 
99 

Nigerian economy cause our banks no concern? 
Have thty noW dprlded to pull down and destroy 
the economy instead of promoting it? Wha.t ~o~s 
a bank gain in a country where the economy IS In 
shambles? Is anybody gaining anything from the 
whole catastrophe? Something must be wrong! 

"We did many things wrong in the past, 
but we should not therefore go on 
doing the same today. 
We know what we did wrong, 
so we can put it right again. 
We know where this rain began to fall 
on us." 
(Chinua Achebe: Arrow of God) 

101 

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10 
Something must be wrong! 
The problem WJro Mgen,a JS JJOIIllSf 0 ..wo.t.tC'E 0/ 
- ~\. \\.o.."'<X"'<X~~~~ ~~\_\\_~\.\._\_\\_~ o..~~ ,~~\. w.._~~1C. ~\. 'N~o..\. 
\~ nappen\ng \ol\a)l \n fue coun\ry. lne Cfl\\ca\ 
reader would regard this thesis as more or less 
unhistorical, and he will be more or less correct. 
Even a historical approach to the Nigerian reality 
would certainly prove that all these years a 
structure of corruption and intimidation has 
quietly but consistently consolidated itself on the 
Nigerian scene. 
The duration of a chaotic situation is most 
often dependent on the fact that there are always 
people who profit from disorder and chaos. It is 
103 

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often a matter of what. cadre of citizens are 
gaining on account of a deadly corrupt system. In 
Nigeria today one often gets the impression that 
those who gain from the very temporal profit of 
the structure of destruction seem to have 
succeeded in convincing many others that 
nothing can be done to change the situation. The 
result is that a majority of the citizens has been 
more or less constrained to tolerate or . even 
silently identify itself with the whole system so 
that one could diagnose a gradual consolidation 
of a culture of self-destruction. 

There is no gainsaying that the people 
within the geographical area today called Nigeria 
have in the past witnessed series of traumatic 
experiences. Call it colonisation, term it 
"missionarization", name it slavery, refer to it as 
cultural or civil wars. This history presents 
Nigerian peoples with a hard nut to crack. But 
what is exceptionally strange about this? Every 
human being is one day or the other confronted 
with existential questions and problems which are 
connected with his history. It belongs however to 
the very crux of human existence that the human 
being is capable of seeking and finding answers to 
questions perturbing his daily life. Do we have 
any reason to think that Nigerians should be an 
exception to this? 

104 
Surprisingly, instead of drawing edifying 
lessons from the past history, Nigerians seem to 
have adopted a very strange attitude to their 
problems. Instead of tackling them squarely, they 
have resorted to self-destruction from different 
angles. The very talents and amenities that should 
have been deployed in the establishment of social 
order, promotion of self respect and search for 
uplifting a peaceful existence are being used as 
organs of destruction. What a shame! Those who 
complained ~~at they were enslaved in the past 
have today JOIned hands together with modern 
slave-pushers to subjugate fellow citizens. 

. When people are molested, insulted and 
killed, some call it Nigerian! Several' acts of 
irresponsibility and intimidation are referred to as 
the Nigerian factor! What a shame indeed! 

When evil and atrocities of every kind 
become common place, there is the danger that 
m~ny people become insensitive to the tragedy of 
ev~l. Ir: su~h a case, we can talk of the reign of 
evil. N Igenans should never Iose sight of the fact 
that something is wrong when a person resorts to 
self-destruction. A person who knows that what 
~e is ~oir:g is wrong and in spite of this, persists 
In doing It, must be destroying his very per n. 

S~ould it reach a stage whereby the p r I 
WIthout any remorse of consci n ,I II' tuate 

I 
I 5 

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great atrocities as we can see in some of the 
stories above, then it is yet a greater tragedy. 

It is not at all that we do not know what is . 
wrong with our beloved country. The matter is 
that we have in one way or the other refused to 
work for a change. It is high time that Nigerians : 
learnt to cherish self dignity, honour and respect 
for each other, and so reap the fruits of social 
justice and order. But when we notice that 
Nigerians consistently uphold a way of life which 
has dearly manifested itself as a system of self- 
destruction, say, when somebody is confronted 
with a problem and he goes on creating even 
greater problems for others as well as for himself, 
then, something must be wrong? 

The words of the Nigerian Bishops still resound 
in the hearts and minds of many. 

"We salute our country men arid women who, in the face 
of (this) dire situation, have been promoting and 
defending human rights and freedom. Some of them have 
been subjected to untold hardship, including indefinite 
detention without trial. May their suffering not be in vain, 
Nigeria is a nation of free people. We want to remind our 
beloved country men and women that we are a free 
people. We may be vulnerable but not helpless under the 
present circumstances. We must not allow anyone to 
reduce us to slaves through repressive decrees. We must 
continue to resist the violation of our fundamental human 
rights, including the right to free expression, and the right 
to choose our own leaders. We must continue to resist 
dictatorship by all peaceful but effective means." 

(Communique of the Catholic Bishops' Conference of Nigeria 
held at Enugu in September 1994.) 

107 

11 
Nigerians Repent! 
The root of "Nigerian Problem" has often been 
diagnosed as bad leadership. Is this true? 
Whichever way you look at it, there is something 
peculiar about the Nigerian problem. 
When people talk of bad leadership as the 
root of "Nigerian Problem", it sounds as 1£ to say 
that our leaders, past and present, were not 
educated enough in politics and political 
leadership and therefore did or do not know the 
, 
appropriate rules of the game. That means to say 
	J- 	" 
that they were or are ignorant of the "know-how" 
of leadership. In very simple terms, it would 
109 

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. mean that the leaders did or do not know the 
duties of a government. 

Which Nigerian leader did or does not 
know that water, for instance, is a basic need even 
for pigs, not to talk of human beings? But which 
Nigerian leader has made any concerted effort to 
make water available to at least a majority of the 
populace? At the end of the 20th century the 
majority of the populace spends the precious 
hours of the day sweating while struggling for or 
in search of water. Which Nigerian does not know 
the value of regular electrical power supply, a 
good hospital, a comfortable transport system, a 
well balanced system of education, and what 
have you? Which Nigerian would claim not to 
know the adversities resulting from bribery and 
corruption even today in Nigeria? Which 
Nigerian who possesses a basic education, and I 
would say that all our leaders belong to this 
category, does not know that the outcome of 
Hitler's dictatorship belongs to the greatest 
catastrophes human history will continue to 
regret? Does anybody want to tell me that 
	Nigerians do not cherish living in peace? 	. 

Furthermore, bad leadership could mean 
that leaders, even though they basically possessed 
the "know-how" of leadership, made some 
mistakes for one reason or the other. That means, 
they were actually interested in developing 
110 . 

policies f r tl 
unfortuna t 1 Y l 
made th ir 
contraproductiv . L it It. 
that mistakes h v 

one tries naturally t 
becomes necessary t 
has all these years tri 
kind, made in the pa t 
the Citizens, but 
decisions which 

npopular .. and 
t, if one discovers 
r r being made, 
tI 	? Therefore it 

h Ni rian leader 
t i i takes of any 
de in the 
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present. 
	In this light, one w I 	wh th r the 

predicament of leadership in N i 
something else other than b 
	Describing Nigerian predicament as 	r 
	leadership would imply that all these y r 	r 
leaders and the whole citizenry have b n 
foolish and stupid that they do not know how a 
person can contribute to the welfare of the other. I 
doubt whether this is a correct view about 
I' Nigeria, her leaders and peoples. 
,.... 	Consequently, the root of Nigerian 'problem 
seems to be a matter of malicious leadership or 
even malicious citizenry. What other' better 
expression could you find for a situation whereby 
somebody knows that he is doing something 
. which is harmful to his neighbour find": as well 
knows what to do for the welfare of the other 
person, but in spite of this, is perpetuating the 
harmful act even with greater impunity? 
111 
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I r 
I 

' . 
. 

As has been publicly announced and published, 
by October 1, 1998, the swearing-in 0 f a newly- 
elected president and final disengagement of the 
military will take place. Do you.not think that it is 
edifying to make a life-giving contribution to 
promote the dignity of your fellow citizens? 
Would that a new era of honourable citizenry and 
leadership is awakening in our dear and blessed 
country Nigeria! 
112